A Gift
by Yorozuya Gin-san
Summary: Jiroh's Late Birthday Fic Atobe plans a party for Jiroh. Shishido and Gakuto's gift is just plain stupid. Rated T for Shishido's cussing, pocky, stupidity, and Hiyoshi's way of confusion people.


A Gift

I missed Jiroh's birthday by a few days! So enjoy this! I'll get in that 50 things chapter SOMEDAY. XDDD

Oh god, I suck at updating nowadays.

* * *

"Oi Jiroh…wake up," Shishido jabbed the sleeping blond on his ribs with his tennis racket. "Or else Atobe will go all sparkly on us…"

"Yeah, and you know how much we hate being 'sparkled' on!" Gakuto tugged the blond boy's arm. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!"

Shishido scoffed. "More like Sleeping Idiot."

"Zzz…. Marui-kun…Zzz…" Jiroh uttered out in his sleep talk. "6 kids…. 3…Zzz…Beautiful girls…Zzz…. 3…Handsome boys…Zzz…"

Gakuto laughed. LOUDLY. "He even dreams about having kids with that stupid red head!! What an idiot!!" So Hyoutei's red head proceeded to laugh his butt off on the tennis court ground with a staring Shishido.

After several minutes, Gakuto finally got himself back under control. He stared at Shishido. "What? You lost your humor cells too? What are you? A giant shell??"

"No, I just didn't find it very funny…I just found Jiroh's obsession…scary." Shishido replied.

The red head stared. "…You're right…Now that I think about it, he IS pretty scary."

"Bear…Zzz…Kids…" The blond muttered.

Shishido twitched, not once, but at LEAST 3 times. "That boy dreams only about that red head, doesn't he?"

Gakuto nodded. "Let's just get Kabaji to grab Jiroh…" He suggested.

"Finally, a _smart_ suggestion!" Shishido pretended to look amazed (which was failing BADLY).

"Thank you," Gakuto smiled proudly to himself, five seconds later, he gave Shishido a glare. "What's THAT supposed to mean?!"

But our dear Speedster already left the red head. Of course, Kabaji randomly came and picked up the sleeping beauty of Hyoutei.

* * *

"Ore-sama shall make a wonderful party for Jiroh," Atobe announced. "Of course, all of you are giving him gifts. Ore-sama will personally kick you out the team for forgetting."

"Umm…Atobe-san…"

"Yes, what is it Ootori?" Atobe asked, taking off his (fake) glasses as glamorously as Atobe Keigo could.

"Akutagawa-san's birthday passed two days ago…" Hyoutei's current teddy bear said quietly. "So is this a late birthday party…?"

Silence.

Shishido snickered. "Looks like _someone_ forgot Jiroh's day of birth."

"So called Buchou of Hyoutei…" Gakuto added.

Atobe twitched (glamorously of course, Atobe always does things the GLAMOROUS way). "Shishido…Mukahi…You two are going to be given a mission. You must get Jiroh a gift that he will never forget and shall always be happy that you gave it to him. It can't be a party because Ore-sama already planned one." He ordered to the two.

"No! I refuse to work with this idiotic red head!" Shishido proclaimed.

"What?? I refuse to work with this…uh…uh…SHORTY!!"

"Gakuto…You _are_ short."

"…What's your point?" Gakuto asked plainly.

"…Never mind."

So…that was the start of their (not really) great friendship that will (not) eventually make them closer than ever!

* * *

"So…you got the rope??" Shishido hissed to a Gakuto dressed in black.

The red head pulled out some rope. "Yup, you got the tape?" He whispered back to Shishido, who (strangely) was wearing a black cap and clothes.

"Yes, let's go."

"Wait! Wait!!" Gakuto pulled Shishido back before the boy could crawl away. (Yes, we said CRAWL.) "We need super spy music!"

"…Gakuto. We're just gonna steal something. We're not SPYS." Shishido rolled his eyes. "Let's go."

Gakuto muttered something and followed Shishido doggedly inside the small window. The two climbed their way inside a room. Of course, the person who OWNED the room must have been obsessed with tennis because of the uniforms, bags, tennis balls, rackets, and occasional trophies.

"Whoa…this guy has girly hand lotion…" Gakuto examined the pink bottle of strawberry smelling hand lotion.

"Put that back!" Shishido hissed angrily.

"Zzz….snore…Zzz…Snore…"

Shishido gestured Gakuto to walk to the other side of the bed. "Now on the count of three we pounce and tie his hands up! After that we tape his mouth shut!"

"Shouldn't we blindfold him?" Gakuto questioned, pulling out a black cloth.

Shishido rolled his eyes. "No, we need him to see where he's going or he'll scream for the cops before we could tape his mouth."

"That didn't even make sense. You just made that up."

"Yes I did, but we DON'T want to blindfold him, ok?"

"Fine…" The red head muttered sadly and threw the cloth out the window.

"Zzz…Snore…" Amazingly the sleeping person didn't even realize those two had a fight in his room. "Snoreeeeeee…."

"Geez, that guy can't snore." Gakuto commented.

Shishido sighed. "One…Two…THREE! GO!!" He shouted.

The two jumped and managed to tie up the (half) screaming red head (not Mukahi).

"WHO ARE YOU?!" The red head screamed when Shishido and Gakuto managed to throw (yes, THROW) him in the back of a limo. "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?!"

"What do you THINK we want?" Gakuto asked rather evilly.

The red head gasped. "NO!! I WON'T GIVE IT TO YOU!"

"…?"

"NO! NOT MY LIMITED EDITION STRAWBERRY POCKY COLLECTION!! NO!! I WON'T GIVE IT TO YOU!!"

"What. The. Hell." Shishido muttered. "Limited edition Strawberry Pocky collection?"

"YES! I SPENT 5 YEARS COLLECTING POCKY STUFF!!"

"Is that why your hand lotion smells like strawberry?" Gakuto asked, shoving the bottle at the red head's face.

"Uhh…no…I got that as a gift from my mom…" The red head answered. "Can you untie me? I'm still in my jammies."

Shishido raised a brow at the red head wearing pink jammies that somehow managed to get the word "POCKY" on the back. "I don't want to ask."

"Let me go, you…you…PEOPLES!!" The red head screamed.

"Shut it! You're gonna be a gift for Jiroh!" Gakuto yelled thwacking the boy's head roughly. "And you're gonna LIKE being a gift!"

"B-but I won't want to be a gift…"

"TOO BAD!"

"I have a family! I have two brothers! I have tennis!!"

"TOO BAD! SUCKS TO BE YOU!!"

Shishido sighed and told the driver to start driving.

* * *

Jiroh drooled all over his "birthday boy" seat/couch. "Zzz…Zzz…."

Choutaro handed Atobe the gift he was giving to Jiroh.

"Let Ore-sama guess…laptop?"

"Not this time, it's a teddy bear." Choutaro replied happily.

"…Why did you give everyone a laptop last year?"

"Because my mother makes up themes for birthdays. Last year was the laptop theme!"

"…Ore-sama shall not ask any more questions."

Hiyoshi stepped up next. "Gekokujyou."

"Yes, yes Hiyoshi. The gekokujyou again. What is your gift?" Atobe demanded, seeing that Hiyoshi walked up empty handed.

"My gift…was that."

"That?"

"Yes. That."

"That what? Ore-sama sees nothing." Atobe was getting pretty confused.

"Gekokujyou."

"Yes, what about gekokujyou?"

"That was my gift. Gekokujyou."

"…?"

"Gekokujyou." With that said Hiyoshi walked out rather proudly. (We have no idea what he's so proud, perhaps it was because he managed to confuse Atobe?)

Atobe sighed. Why did that guy decide to join the team? "Next?"

Kabaji walked up with a pillow. "Usu." He handed Atobe the pillow.

"Hmm…Made out of silk?"

"Usu."

"Good job Kabaji…Ore-sama shall put this in Jiroh's gift room…" Atobe handed Kabaji a giant bag of gifts. "Meaning you shall put it in Jiroh's gift room."

"Usu." Kabaji walked off without complaint.

"Next?" Atobe looked at his clipboard. Oshitari, Shishido, and Gakuto were next.

Oshitari handed Atobe a giant box. "It has video games. Tell him to enjoy…or whatever." The tensai walked off holding on to his book. "No!! No!! Don't break up with him!!"

"Oh…? Looks like Gakuto and Shishido are the last ones…" Atobe scanned around the room. "Are they even here?"

"YES WE ARE HERE!!" Gakuto screamed on the mega phone. "JIROH!! WE GOT YOU A REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD GIFT!!"

Jiroh woke up. "Huh…? Atobe…what happened?" He rubbed his eyes, oblivious to what was going on.

"Geez, why do _I_ have to do all the damn work?" Shishido barked. He was pushing the cart that held the box.

"Waaaa…Sugee!" Jiroh stared at amazement at the giant box. It was pink with red ribbons tied around it. "WHAT'S INSIDE??" The box had a lot of air holes.

"WHAT YOU WANTED!!" Gakuto answered.

Jiroh ran up to it and untied it. Inside was…

"IOASYD JKSDX XIWHDWEJDS OMG, MARUI-KUN." Jiroh spazzed.

"Hi…?" Marui asked, uncertain on what was going on.

"I LURVERS YOU." The blond screamed.

"THANK YOU??" Marui looked even more uncertain. "I THOUGHT THEY'D GIVE ME CAKE!! WHERE IS IT?!"

"I'LL GIVE YOU CAKE." Jiroh ran off in search of cake.

At that moment, Marui decided to make a run for it, but Kabaji blocked the door.

"MARUI-KUN!! I'M BACK WITH THE CAKE!!" Jiroh came screaming back, cake in hand.

"YAAAAY! CAKE!!" Marui cheered.

"Well…do we get any prize?" Gakuto looked proud of himself.

"Umm…Ore-sama shall give you this." Hyoutei's diva handed Shishido and Gakuto a piece of paper.

"…A coupon for a hair cut?" Shishido asked, shoving the paper back at Atobe. "What the hell am I supposed to do with THIS?"

"Well…Ore-sama thinks your hair is a mess. You should cut your hair…with that coupon you get it half off." Atobe explained.

Gakuto stared at the ticket. "Atobe…I'm gonna kill you."

"SO AM I." Shishido snapped. "YOU MADE ME CLIMB UP SOME GUY'S HOUSE AT 3A.M. IN THE MORNING FOR THIS?!"

"Ore-sama didn't actually think you would climb into someone's abode at 3A.M. in the morning…"

"THAT'S IT! IT'S WAR!!" Shishido leapt on Atobe, and you probably can figure out what happened. It took Choutaro, Kabaji, Hiyoshi, AND some random servant to pull apart Gakuto, Shishido, and Atobe.

What happened to Marui? No one knew. He disappeared the moment after he ate his cake. Some say he had Jiroh's dream kids. We'll NEVER know.

"Ore-sama still hates you hair…"

"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID OLD MAN!!" Shishido snapped.

"Don't make me go ninja on your sorry butt!!" Gakuto screamed.


End file.
